“I like oral sex with no restrictions”
“Sex feels better without protection”
I hear these and similar statements all the time both from clients and friends, yet I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t care whether or not they catch an STI. Even if you are practicing safe sex, condoms aren’t foolproof and more partners = more risk. So where does that leave us?
Many people lean strongly towards the idea of only sleeping with one person at a time but not everyone is looking for a commitment. News flash... Monogamy is not the same as commitment!
There is nothing wrong with taking charge of your body and saying that you would prefer to be monogamous. It can definitely feel a little awkward having “the talk”; however, if all you’re concerned about is sexual safety then say so. If you are expecting a commitment then say that instead. Being honest, no matter how difficult, is the easiest way to avoid doubt & uncertainty.
If you do decide that you want to proceed without condoms, make sure that you speak openly about getting tested for STIs. Someone who respects their body and yours might be a little taken aback by the topic but they shouldn’t be offended. It’s a smart idea to make routine STI testing part of your life if you are engaging in casual sex whether or not you are using condoms.
If you won't take the initiative to respect your body, who will?